Clove Thoughts

Stop Chasing, Start Recognizing Stop me if this sounds familiar: you do everything right, try to be perfect, and somehow… nothing changes. Yeah, that was my childhood. I thought love worked like a loyalty program. Follow the rules, collect enough points, don’t mess up too badly, and eventually, you unlock the reward. Except the reward was supposed to be something simple: love without constantly qualifying for it. Reading the Room Like a Pro Some kids grew up learning hobbies or sports. I grew up learning how to detect emotional earthquakes. Tone changes slightly? I notice. Room goes quiet? I notice. Someone looks annoyed for half a second? Definitely notice. My brain went into overdrive: what did I do now? So I adapted. I apologized before I knew why. Explained myself like I was in court. And became suspiciously patient because, obviously, patience fixes everything. Spoiler: it doesn’t. Try Harder My main strategy was simple: try harder. Always. Argument happened? Be quieter next time....

There’s a strange weight that comes with being 27 and uncertain. It’s not loud. It doesn’t announce itself dramatically. It just exists in the background — a quiet awareness that time is moving forward, whether you feel ready or not. At this age, comparison becomes automatic. You open your phone and see milestones everywhere. Promotions. Career moves. New cities. “Excited to share…” posts. People building momentum. And you start calculating. Not out of jealousy. Out of self-measurement. Starting from scratch at 27 doesn’t feel bold or adventurous. It feels vulnerable. Because by now, you were supposed to have traction. A steady direction. A narrative that sounds confident when someone asks about your plans. Instead, I have a pause. I completed a postgraduate degree in a STEM field. It required discipline, logic, and persistence. I believed that if I worked hard enough, the next step would unfold naturally. But life doesn’t always respond to effort in straight lines. There were years wh...